Inner child

Australia 2018. “The child in the age of 18 months to 3 year can be a challenge for the parents. Kids behave very self-centred and touch everything”. After explaining a bit more about the emotional mess a kid can get into when parents are in a failing relationship and abuse is taking place, it’s time for an exercise. “Please write a letter to your inner child about how well you know each other and be specific about one situation in particular. Tell her that you are going to take care of her”. I see long letters coming. “No, you don’t have to share them”, I say, where I would otherwise ask them to read them to each other. Something is holding me back. “Close your eyes and relax your body. Breath three times deeply. “ Remember the first house you lived in…” 

Inner Child sadness
Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

At the end of the meditation Renae is sobbing, tears rolling down her cheeks. “ My uncle touched  me”, she whispers. Even more tears. The whole class is silent. Her friend gives her a hug. “I’m glad he is dead”, she says. So, I invite her to come in the middle. Everybody hugs her and whispers comforting words. It is the first time she says something about this, except for her mother, but her response was not very helpful for her. She has the courage to speak up. Therefore her healing has begun….

Sexual abuse

is a situation where there is no consent between two people for being touched with a sexual intent. Especially when children are involved who have no say in the matter. Manipulation, secrecy and loneliness adds to the severity of the wounds that are created. The damage is done and requires attention to change the behavioural patterns that arise as a result of the wounds. 

So, heal the wounds of your Inner child, she / he deserves it, because you deserve it!

Renae did it…

Sexual abuse

More than 55 years ago I experienced sexual abuse. As a 7 year old boy I was harassed in the dark by a man in a long coat, having me touch his penis. Although this might seem a small incident, it had a huge impact on my life. It was not the only incident. Somewhere along the line I experienced a form of energetic abuse. Where the first experience left a vivid image, still I can feel physical what happened. The other time has a blurry memory, where I felt the strong sexual desire of someone to abuse me. In an energetic way, it already took place, not leaving physical sensations, but an energetic imprint.

The blossom Tree, man in dark
Photo by Sergiu Nista on Unsplash

Tools

The tools I worked with, around sexual abuse, where Reiki and Inner Child work. My best friend and Sister in Australia helped me a lot to go through the many layers of the abuse. It’s not only the emotions of the fact itself, like disgust, fear and disbelieve. Also not being able to talk to anybody about it. The feelings of loneliness with my story, feelings of it being my fault and many others.

Healing Sexual abuse

In time, after disclosure, I was able to heal myself, deal with all the emotions and get the energy out of the situations. I remember the numerous occasions I was talking to my inner child about all the feelings he still had around the abuse. Oh boy, what did he suffer all that time.

It’s not over yet. My sexual energy has been distorted for a long time, not only because of the incidents, but also because of the shame and blame that happened around my sexuality as a young kid wanting to know the difference between boys and girls, as at home we only had boys and during my schooling sexes were strictly separated.

Masculine energy

I’m still dealing with my male energy as I have not trusted this energy since I was a child. Now I’m at the level where I am working with my male energy to start trusting it again and find the inner harmony with both my masculine and feminine energies.

What helped me a lot with the sexual abuse, was the change of perspective, from being a victim to the spiritual perspective of having chosen for this experience from a soul perspective. This took me out of the victimhood to a more empowered place. When I chose for this, then what am I supposed to do with it? One of the things is to talk about it, bring it to the light and support others with similar experiences. This is starting to happen.