Sexual abuse

More than 55 years ago I experienced sexual abuse. As a 7 year old boy I was harassed in the dark by a man in a long coat, having me touch his penis. Although this might seem a small incident, it had a huge impact on my life. It was not the only incident. Somewhere along the line I experienced a form of energetic abuse. Where the first experience left a vivid image, still I can feel physical what happened. The other time has a blurry memory, where I felt the strong sexual desire of someone to abuse me. In an energetic way, it already took place, not leaving physical sensations, but an energetic imprint.

The blossom Tree, man in dark
Photo by Sergiu Nista on Unsplash

Tools

The tools I worked with, around sexual abuse, where Reiki and Inner Child work. My best friend and Sister in Australia helped me a lot to go through the many layers of the abuse. It’s not only the emotions of the fact itself, like disgust, fear and disbelieve. Also not being able to talk to anybody about it. The feelings of loneliness with my story, feelings of it being my fault and many others.

Healing Sexual abuse

In time, after disclosure, I was able to heal myself, deal with all the emotions and get the energy out of the situations. I remember the numerous occasions I was talking to my inner child about all the feelings he still had around the abuse. Oh boy, what did he suffer all that time.

It’s not over yet. My sexual energy has been distorted for a long time, not only because of the incidents, but also because of the shame and blame that happened around my sexuality as a young kid wanting to know the difference between boys and girls, as at home we only had boys and during my schooling sexes were strictly separated.

Masculine energy

I’m still dealing with my male energy as I have not trusted this energy since I was a child. Now I’m at the level where I am working with my male energy to start trusting it again and find the inner harmony with both my masculine and feminine energies.

What helped me a lot with the sexual abuse, was the change of perspective, from being a victim to the spiritual perspective of having chosen for this experience from a soul perspective. This took me out of the victimhood to a more empowered place. When I chose for this, then what am I supposed to do with it? One of the things is to talk about it, bring it to the light and support others with similar experiences. This is starting to happen.

Reiki class

Reiki class
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

We are about to finish the Reiki class. “Are there any questions?” “Yes,” Sophia says, “my leg hurts, already for some time and I have trouble walking long distance. Can I do something about that?” “Where does it hurt?” “Here, in the side of my upper leg” I look at her for a little while. “I have a question for you, is it from this lifetime or an other?” She looks at me with a frown on her face and she closes her eyes for a second. “Not from now” she says thoughtfully. “Have an other look, what do you see?”  She looks down again and feels her leg. “Yes, there is something sticking out of my leg” “It’s a dagger, isn’t it? Now pull it carefully out and hold your hand on that place. Allow the Reiki energy to flow so the wound can heal”.

Healing

Sophia is one of my Reiki students and a very sensitive person. She is very much connected to the energy of time and space and is able to look into other lifetimes, not only for herself but also for others. She is a journalist from South America and a feminist activist. A couple of weeks later we meet again. “You know Henk,” I gave Reiki to myself on that spot”, while pointing on her upper leg, “and the pain in my leg went away in just a couple of days and has never returned, I can use my leg normal now” “You did a good job” I said to her, “ you healed your leg well”.

The same evening she asked for my date and place of birth. After bringing up my star-chart, she gave me an astrologic reading. I only can say, spot on. Now she is moving on for her work, next stop for her is Europe. Thank you Sophia, for being part of my life.