Looking back…. with gratitude

Now I’ve left Peru, I look back with eternal gratitude for my experiences there. The time I spent with my friend and her 2 kids taught me a lot and filled my heart with love. For nearly 3 months I rented a room in their house and I was part of the family.

gratitude Reiki 2 class
Reiki 2 class

Besides that she introduced me to different people in the area who became a part of my life. Like in Cusco I started teaching Reiki and Inner Child work, but something shifted. Before I came out again from Europe I had trained Inner Child facilitators in Venlo, the Netherlands. The time I spent with my friends Leon and Karen, I had the inner calling to start transferring the inner child work to members of Stichting ’t Ven, a network of therapists. Several of them where interested and so the first workshop happened.

Transferring knowledge

In Urubamba Peru, I felt this is what I had to do for the moment, transferring my knowledge. A few of her friends also wanted classes, so I started with Inner Child work and Reiki. These friends where experienced facilitators for Ayahuasca and Wachuma  ceremonies. 

A while after these courses I suggested them to become Inner Child facilitators and I designed guidelines. What a joy to see these people embrace the inner child work themselves and starting to use their own experience in the supervised workshops! Eventually I certified 4 inner child facilitators in the Urubamba area.

New Reiki Master

Janneke Boeijen became a new Reiki Master. From the beginning she was eager to redo her Reiki classes with me and she strongly felt the calling to become a Reiki Master, so we agreed on a training plan for her to become a Reiki Master. Oh boy, she went for it! I’m very proud of her how she stepped up towards becoming a Reiki Master. On the 26th of Februari we had a beautiful Initiation Ritual in Puma Huanca forest, along the water. 

Inner child facilitators

At Willkamayu Spirit you will find 3 of the four Inner Child facilitators, English (native), Dutch (native) and Spanish speaking, and our new Reiki Master.

At Libre Ser (facebook) you will find the fourth facilitator, Spanish (native) and English speaking.

I haven’t mentioned all the other beautiful people from the Sacred Valley I worked with and who worked with me. Gratitude! Gracias, Gracias Gracias! You all changed my Heart…

gratitude Puma Huanca
Puma Huanca reserve

Sexual abuse and the patriarchal society.

My perspective

In this world, man still mainly control most societies. Organizations are also mainly patriarchal. Look for example at the Roman Catholic Church and other religions, where men fulfil the principal roles. From this patriarchal perspective, I want to look at the abuse of women.


In a patriarchal society, the image that women are subordinate to men is a normal starting point. If we look back in our own history, we see that in the past century, the rights of women in our society have gradually expanded.
When my mother married my father, the government dismissed her, that was the case in the 1950s. Still there is no equality on all fronts between the participation of men and women, although we have already gone a long way.

World view

One of the ways to look at sexual abuse is from this world view. Then I see sexual abuse by men as a way to confirm their dominant role in society, the family or any other form of society. This provides a completely different picture regarding abuse. From my spiritual perspective I see the entire male ancestral line appear where the transmission of beliefs has taken place to the current generations.


These convictions are about the role of the man in the different forms of society of our world. Their (power) position, alleged rights, relationships between man and woman, sexuality and domination. As a young child, we take over these beliefs from our parents and other ancestors. These are mostly unconscious and manifest themselves in the behaviour of men. Especially the latter, that these beliefs are usually unconscious, makes change a challenge for men. “We” see many behaviours that arise from these beliefs as being “normal”. Examples are watching pornography, sexually explicit remarks, male talk when it comes to women.


Extreme masculine energy is expressed as wars, as competition, dominance. In wars, men not only used their weapon. They also their penetration power to show their superiority, and women are the victims of it. Sexual energy is then no longer used for what it is meant to be, as energy to create, but to destroy. I also see that sexually inappropriate behaviour is passed on from generation to generation. Just as abuse is also visible across multiple generations.


These beliefs also live on a collective level and that means that we need to make the necessary effort to change this, man for man. Yes, it works very well to create a different image through campaigns. But the changes have to take place in every man. That requires courage. Courage to look yourself in the eye and to see one’s own behaviour from the perspective of the woman. To let the inner feminine, what every man has in him, to speak for once. Courage to give the existing image of masculinity a different content. Thus they take the risk of being expelled from the social men’s environment.

The man

patriarchal balance

The inner feminine is often compromised in upbringing because the male has only received attention at the expense of the female aspect. In my opinion, a real man is someone who has balanced his masculine energy with his feminine energy. He is therefore out of the extreme masculine that our patriarchal society is so accustomed to. When our societies really want to achieve the balance, then in the upbringing of the next generation, we will have to give full attention to them.

Partly I see this already happening by forming men’s circles. Here men work together to bring back the balance in their energy. But we need much more. I myself notice that I have a lot of trouble with the extremely masculine and therefore do not connect with men in this energy. This is mainly due to the damaged confidence in male energy due to my own abuse (by a man).

The woman

From the society where I am now, I see the disturbed male energy very clearly. From my work I regularly meet women who have been abused, where in the relationship with their family (parents, grandparents) and partners the unhealthy male is evident. In particular, by bringing young women into contact with their inner child. In that way supporting them in healing their past and the beliefs that go with it. Then they can find their inner strength and claim their rightful place in all layers of society. The place of equality. With that they also break through the ancestral patterns of abuse. Then men will have to follow.


There are multiple perspectives for looking at sexual abuse by men. For me it comes down to learned behaviour from childhood through parental and ancestral patterns, social acceptance and the like. I would like to give parents and future parents the opportunity to investigate and resolve their own behaviour and the underlying beliefs and traumas, so that they do not have to pass this on to the next generation. I know the convictions and traumas from my own experience (self-abused) and the distortion of my own sexuality as a result.
Through inner child work I have been able to heal my traumas and bring my beliefs about sexuality in balance. I wish everyone this and invite men and women to do their inner work.

Loving Yourself…

Loving yourself …

Loving yourself, for many a challenge that manifests itself in caring for and taking into account others and thus often putting your own needs aside. A theme that I’ve only been working with since I began to feel more than a year and a half ago that I took more account of the needs of others and had trouble doing my own thing. And then suddenly it goes fast, with fits and starts. Again and again those aha moments that put me step by step in the right direction. Again and again a piece of the historical puzzle that falls into place and shows me where the extreme need to take care of (= getting love, being liked, etc.) comes from. There is now room for myself! Saying “No” is getting better and better, there is room for my own thing without me feeling guilty about it.


Give and receive

Giving and receiving also gets a different content, where giving was virtually limitless and receiving oh so difficult, gradually creates a sense of balance. Receiving can now be done with gratitude, where I muttered something, “that is too much” or “I can not accept that” and I felt unworthy. Giving comes more and more with the message to myself from where I give, does it come from love or from the old? I am letting go of the latter, leaving room for myself and my sense of love in giving.


The distorted reality that has arisen through experiences from my youth (including sexual abuse) has become transparent. The lines of my behaviour now towards these experiences begin to crumble and fade. There is room for me to love myself, to replace the old messages. “I am worth it”, and “I can be loved”, and finally “I love me!”. Then I think again and again about the song of Harrie Jekkers and hear it in my head …


Love thus also gains new meaning. New doors open, my eyes begin to perceive differently, my ears hear other things, the stratification of the sounds and the message I receive. Where “loving” included conditionality, it shifts to the other end of the spectrum, to unconditionally. Without condition, with all my Heart.



Squeezed by the conditionality and unworthiness, my Heart remained on guard, not too far open because of the vulnerability. Having the courage to open up the Heart and be vulnerable because you know you are OK and nobody can do anything about it becomes possible if you can love yourself unconditionally. On the way…

Transgender, a male energy in a female body and vice versa.

Channel 12-1-2019

Following a meeting in Cusco with Simone, I wrote the following channel. Her partner insists on changing her body to the gender she feels. She has a female body and wants to change this to have male characteristics.


Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

Transgender, a men’s energy in a woman’s body and vice versa.

It is not a mistake of nature, the soul makes a conscious choice at soul level  to step into life as a transsexual person. These people have special attributes. But due to social acceptance, society does not see these people  as whole. Meaning their special attributes can not develop either. In essence they are very wise beings who show humanity that their strict prejudices about the different sexes are very limited. That these people have themselves converted to the other sex with which they identify themselves, is something of the last time, since medical technology has progressed so far.

That is a choice. Another possibility is to go deep inside and to break away from gender identity. As it were to transcend the union of masculine and feminine. Then, as it were, the androgenic nature of the soul comes out and the gender of the physical body does not matter any more.

This leads to a much more satisfying existence and is also the wish of the soul to grow to this level. Then an enormous wisdom comes out. This stays hidden because they only seek a solution  at the level of the physical.

These people need  understanding from their environment. Only then they feel that the way they have chosen to incarnate is accepted in the world.  A way to go is to deal with all the pain of youth and heal it, so that they can embrace their true nature.

It is not a mistake of nature, it is a choice at soul level that transcends gender.


The Sacred Female

Have we forgotten how sacred our female human beings are? Has our patriarchal society doomed women to be less than men? The world is still ruled by men, even God in the catholic church is pictured as a male figure.

Male dominance

Time to change and restore the image of women in our society and the balance between the male and female energies that rule our societies and the world.  

Sacred female, male dominance

Many centuries and many generations men have dictated the world with their male energy, strong and competitive. Even their own inner balance has shifted towards the extremes of male behaviour. Resulting in the extremes visible in our societies, competition, wars, greed, racism. Often women in power use mostly their masculine side to be able to function in the male dominated corporate and political world.

What values are our societies build on, that originate from the male influence over the eons of time where men were ruling the world? Perhaps it is even the absence of certain values that cause the suffering for many. Co-operation, compassion, harmony, etc. are base values we lack for a large part in todays society. The mind is ruling the world, the mind with its masculine energy. The connection is lost for a large part with the Heart, with our intuition, disconnected from the messages of our soul, our mind rules on its own, separated from the Higher values of life. No wonder things go wrong, like a car with no driver, the car can become a deadly weapon. Our intuition, our gut-feel is our navigation system, gives us safe boundaries, allows us to live our lives based on the Higher values from our soul.


We think, yes that’s the mind again, that intuition belongs only to women and that is not true. Because of the imbalance in the male person between the masculine and the feminine, many man cannot hear their intuition very well or the mind changes the message before the message reaches consciousness. 

I love the song from John Lennon, Imagine, in essence for me he sings about the shift from the male dominance to the balance in the energies. Imagine a world living in harmony and peace, no greed, no fear, no wars and no competition.

“You may say I’m a dreamer,
but I’m not the only one,
I hope someday you’ll join us,
And the world will live as one.”

Writen by: John Lennon

One of the things we need to change, is our view of the female and see the Sacredness again and incorporate this in our way of living. Especially important for the women themselves and off course for men.

The woman is Sacred

Sacred female

Our women are Sacred because they are able to create life. Yes, the man is needed, but he only contributes for a very brief moment in this creation process. A co-creation with the spirit that wants to incarnate on Earth, the spirit that chose the mother and the father as its parents. The rest is solely done by the woman, the Sacred woman who carries life inside of her and is capable of birthing a new human being into this world, enabling a soul to have a life on our beautiful planet. It is the love of All That Is that is transferred to the new born through the heart of the mother. She is the first one to welcome this new soul on Earth. That is why the woman is Sacred.


The woman is receiving, the woman receives the man, the man is penetrating and gives. When the woman wants to receive the man and he is able to give himself entirely to the woman, not just the flesh, but with his whole energy, from the level of his soul, magic can happen. Then the woman can completely surrender to the man and the energies can merge into an incredibly powerful creative force. The blending of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine is able to create a spark of God, a spark of light so powerful and so bright it is felt in the whole universe.

Huge transformation can take place when their communion comes from this highest level. The high Priestess and the high Priest connecting their energies on all levels can create lasting ecstasy, can create heaven on Earth. The Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine walking the Earth hand in hand, turning everything in gold radiating energy.

That is what men in general have forgotten, who see women as less, as objects of lust, as objects for abuse.

The rise of the feminine

There is work to be done both by men and woman, both in their own specific way, both equally important. 

Our society will only change when we change, the change from within. It makes no sense to wait for politicians and leaders. They are more interested in the status quo, where they are in power and stay in power. It is everybody’s own responsibility to find their own way to authenticity, the balance of the Male and Female energies, the embodiment of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine.

We all have been imprinted by ancestral distorted energies that have been passed down from generation to generation within a patriarchal context. Now is the time to break the cycle. 


Bethany Webster writes about the Mother wound, the suppression of the female in the patriarchal society. This imposed believe systems on women about who they supposed to be, energies of abuse passed on through generations. Guild and shame about being a female is a theme for many women. This asks for deep inner work to remove these believes and the pain that is associated with it. The inner child carries these wounds and wants to be healed. Healed to free herself from the male societal suppression. So you can find the way to balance your own female and male energies and step into your own Sacredness.


In a similar way men have been imprinted and have been handed down believes about manhood from many generations. Skewed believes about how a man should be, to be manly. Believes around sexuality, power, possession and competition that rules out and sidetracks their own inner feminine. “Boys don’t cry” is one of the sayings suppressing the female part and putting all the emphasis on the masculine energy. Our schooling system does something similar, emphasis on the mind, away from the Heart. This has huge consequences.

Violence against women—it’s a men’s issue: Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen shows how the focus from the perpetrator very quickly goes to the victim and the violence is changed in a women’s issue. Jackson Katz turns things around again and shows it is a men’s problem. 

In our society  we don’t have any initiation rituals anymore around manhood. We have no education on relationships, communication, consent and healthy male behaviour. The only references youngsters have, are the generational imprints and the examples they have in their lives. They come  from parents, caretakers, teachers and their friends. Not much is done to calibrate their internal compass to guide them to healthy manhood.

Me Too

Fortunately more and more men become aware of the skewed believes that are seen as “normal” in our society. Leaders are exposed for their unacceptable behaviour towards women. Women are stepping up, see the Me Too movement. Change is on its way, the inner feminine in men is waking up and the conversation  is starting.

Through the inner work also men can free themselves from the tyranny of the past and align themselves again with the higher values of life. Values of respect, unconditional love, equality and sacredness of all humans, all living beings. Not only women in their Divinity, but also Divine masculinity which is the perfect balance between the inner feminine and the inner masculine in the male body.