Sexual abuse and the patriarchal society.

My perspective

In this world, man still mainly control most societies. Organizations are also mainly patriarchal. Look for example at the Roman Catholic Church and other religions, where men fulfil the principal roles. From this patriarchal perspective, I want to look at the abuse of women.


In a patriarchal society, the image that women are subordinate to men is a normal starting point. If we look back in our own history, we see that in the past century, the rights of women in our society have gradually expanded.
When my mother married my father, the government dismissed her, that was the case in the 1950s. Still there is no equality on all fronts between the participation of men and women, although we have already gone a long way.

World view

One of the ways to look at sexual abuse is from this world view. Then I see sexual abuse by men as a way to confirm their dominant role in society, the family or any other form of society. This provides a completely different picture regarding abuse. From my spiritual perspective I see the entire male ancestral line appear where the transmission of beliefs has taken place to the current generations.


These convictions are about the role of the man in the different forms of society of our world. Their (power) position, alleged rights, relationships between man and woman, sexuality and domination. As a young child, we take over these beliefs from our parents and other ancestors. These are mostly unconscious and manifest themselves in the behaviour of men. Especially the latter, that these beliefs are usually unconscious, makes change a challenge for men. “We” see many behaviours that arise from these beliefs as being “normal”. Examples are watching pornography, sexually explicit remarks, male talk when it comes to women.


Extreme masculine energy is expressed as wars, as competition, dominance. In wars, men not only used their weapon. They also their penetration power to show their superiority, and women are the victims of it. Sexual energy is then no longer used for what it is meant to be, as energy to create, but to destroy. I also see that sexually inappropriate behaviour is passed on from generation to generation. Just as abuse is also visible across multiple generations.


These beliefs also live on a collective level and that means that we need to make the necessary effort to change this, man for man. Yes, it works very well to create a different image through campaigns. But the changes have to take place in every man. That requires courage. Courage to look yourself in the eye and to see one’s own behaviour from the perspective of the woman. To let the inner feminine, what every man has in him, to speak for once. Courage to give the existing image of masculinity a different content. Thus they take the risk of being expelled from the social men’s environment.

The man

patriarchal balance

The inner feminine is often compromised in upbringing because the male has only received attention at the expense of the female aspect. In my opinion, a real man is someone who has balanced his masculine energy with his feminine energy. He is therefore out of the extreme masculine that our patriarchal society is so accustomed to. When our societies really want to achieve the balance, then in the upbringing of the next generation, we will have to give full attention to them.

Partly I see this already happening by forming men’s circles. Here men work together to bring back the balance in their energy. But we need much more. I myself notice that I have a lot of trouble with the extremely masculine and therefore do not connect with men in this energy. This is mainly due to the damaged confidence in male energy due to my own abuse (by a man).

The woman

From the society where I am now, I see the disturbed male energy very clearly. From my work I regularly meet women who have been abused, where in the relationship with their family (parents, grandparents) and partners the unhealthy male is evident. In particular, by bringing young women into contact with their inner child. In that way supporting them in healing their past and the beliefs that go with it. Then they can find their inner strength and claim their rightful place in all layers of society. The place of equality. With that they also break through the ancestral patterns of abuse. Then men will have to follow.


There are multiple perspectives for looking at sexual abuse by men. For me it comes down to learned behaviour from childhood through parental and ancestral patterns, social acceptance and the like. I would like to give parents and future parents the opportunity to investigate and resolve their own behaviour and the underlying beliefs and traumas, so that they do not have to pass this on to the next generation. I know the convictions and traumas from my own experience (self-abused) and the distortion of my own sexuality as a result.
Through inner child work I have been able to heal my traumas and bring my beliefs about sexuality in balance. I wish everyone this and invite men and women to do their inner work.